What If He’s Not Marriage Material Now, But I Can See The Potential?
Forget it, ladies! Find a man who already has the qualities you are looking for. Don’t think that with your encouragement or advice that he will change into what you want him to be. So many women are so eager to fall in love and get married that they give a guy credit for qualities that he doesn’t have and won’t ever develop. Don’t fall for a guy until you know all that you need to about him. You want a man with good character and the qualities that are important to you now, not possibly someday.
The Guy I’m Dating Hasn’t Said, “I Love You” Yet. Should I Tell Him First?
No, don’t be the one to say those words first. Once you say it, it’s “out there,” and if he doesn’t return the sentiment, oh boy, will things be awkward from then on. If it has been more than six months and he can’t say, “I love you” then consider moving on. Don’t waste your time. Chances are, if he can’t tell you he loves you, he won’t marry you either.
He Says He Doesn’t Want More Kids. I Think I Can Change His Mind, Though. Should I Risk It?
Don’t ever think that you are going to change someone. Having children is a huge commitment, and if the person you are thinking of getting involved with is not on the same page as you are, then either accept it or move on. I have heard of women getting pregnant even though the man told her that he does not want more kids, or trying to trap a man into getting married because they are pregnant. What a disaster that is. The man feels betrayed and resentful, the relationship will most likely end, and our society has another child from a broken home.
Is It A Good Idea To Ask A Man Out? Is It True That Men Like To Be The One To Pursue?
Conventional wisdom says “No, its the man’s job to do the pursuing,” but in the modern world we can nudge them along a little bit. Guys have of tough deal: always having to pursue and getting rejected a good deal of the time. If a man is showing some interest you can go ahead and try one of these techniques. Don’t actually use the word “date” or “go out with me.” You don’t want to sound too serious. You can always say something like “I’m going to be in your area for a meeting, would you like to meet for a drink?” A drink can turn into a dinner or a whole evening if things are going well.
You can also ask him for advice. If he is a computer whiz, for example, or knows a lot about cars and you are in the market to buy one, then you can always offer to buy him a drink for his help. Subtlety is the key. You can suggest doing something together without seeming like you are the aggressor or chasing him. The man likes the challenge and the hunt and if it comes too easy, he might lose interest quickly. A man is biologically hardwired to do the chasing. And as far as who pays for what, if the man asked you out, then let him pay. If you suggest an outing, then you should pay.
I’ve Been Told I Am Too Honest. Isn’t It Good To Speak Your Mind And Let A Man Know What Your Opinion Is On Things?
These days women are more educated, independent and opinionated than any other time in history. We love to speak our minds. Men appreciate an intelligent lady, but they also still enjoy being the man and giving advice and help to their woman. My husband loves the fact that I am intelligent and successful, but he still loves to play the traditional role of the man in our relationship. “I’m the man of the house,” he proudly tells me. That means he wants to watch out for me, make important decisions and give me advice — not so much the other way around.. It is important for a man to know that his advice and opinion is respected and listened to. As for women, it’s okay to not sound off on everything that comes to our mind.
I Think I’m Too Old To Get Out There And Date Again, But I Don’t Want To Be Alone Forever, What Can I Do?
Some people subscribe to the idea that dating is for young people. Let me assure you that could not be further from the truth. Love has no age limit! My own aunt met her finance at the age of 57. She had been married for 30 years, and then my uncle died. She eventually decided that she didn’t want to be alone, so she went on match.com and met a great guy while in her early 50’s. They had a 3-year relationship with him, and then when that didn’t work out, she went back online and met her current fiancé. He is a wonderful man and they couldn’t be happier together.
I have also matched an 86-year-old male client after his wife passed away to a wonderful woman, and they are happy as clams. He is quite wealthy and they enjoy an amazing lifestyle of travel and enjoying life. Sure, it’s more challenging to find someone with whom you can really get along with after a certain age, but there is no reason to believe that there is an age limit on love or companionship. Stay active, curious, keep your look current, try to stay out of the larger sizes and you can catch a man’s eye at any age!
How Do I Tell A Guy That I Don’t Want To See Him Again?
Unfortunately, chemistry is not negotiable. Even if he seems perfect on paper and your mother would love him, if you don’t feel the chemistry for romance it’s not going to work. If he is a really great guy and you enjoy spending time with him, you can always turn him into a friend. Be diplomatic about telling him — you don’t want to hurt his feelings or bruise his ego. You can just tell him that you realize that since there aren’t a lot of romantic sparks, you two will probably end up being great friends. Help him to understand that you are not rejecting him, but be clear and firm about the way you feel. I think it’s charming to say, “Chuck, I wish that I could sprinkle some chemistry dust over us because you are such a great guy, but I would love to be friends!”
I Have Been Dating A Guy For Two Months, We Get Along Great, But He Has Never Introduced Me To Any Of His Friends Or Family.. When I asked Him About It He Changes The Subject. Should I Be Concerned?
You should absolutely be concerned. If a man refuses to include you in his personal life in this way, it is a huge red flag. Either he is seeing another woman as well, is married, gay, ashamed of dating you, or some other reason that you might never find out. None of these scenarios are acceptable, so if he doesn’t come clean on why he is avoiding it, my advice is to move on.
I Went Out With A Guy Twice And We Had An Amazing Time But Now He Is Not Calling Me. Should I Call Him?
The calling game is the most frustrating thing about dating. You had such a great time, but then don’t hear anything, so your mind starts wandering and you think of all sorts of scenarios. Maybe he lost your number, maybe he had to go out of town on an emergency, maybe he got in a car crash and is in a coma somewhere (my personal favorite!). But alas, the guy always turns out to be alive and well. Absolutely do not call him. If a guy wants to see you again, he will call you. If he is not calling that means that he is not interested. You might have had an amazing time together, but for some reason he doesn’t feel that you two are suited for each other for long-term. He might have been dating someone else as well and decided to see her exclusively. Whatever the reason, he isn’t calling, so leave it at that. Keep your options open and see what’s out there. Enjoy the dating process.
Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker
By Marla Martenson
List $ 14.95 272 pages trade softcover Bettie Youngs Books ISBN-10: 0984308105 ISBN-13: 978-0984308101 Available in bookstores nationwide and online.
For more information visit www.marlamartenson.com